Being the
wife of a bishop can be exhausting, overwhelming, and so completely full of
blessings that the first two don’t really matter. I don’t remember much of the night when the
call came; I just know I walked out of the Stake President’s office feeling
overwhelmed and in complete awe of the incredible men I had just spent an hour
listening to. These men, the Stake
Presidency, had complete faith that my husband and I could fulfill this
calling. We are just your normal family trying to do the best we can with what
we’ve been given. We are far from
perfect, but always “trying a little harder to be a little better.” We are
far from the model example. My husband
is an incredible man who is so willing to help me around the house and with our
kids. I rely on his help to keep me sane,
and I was filled with fear wondering how I would do this all on my own. I knew
the office of a bishop was always busy.
I knew there would be late nights.
I knew I’d be in the pew by myself.
I didn’t know how I could do so much on my own. However, I’ve been taught that when you’ve
done all you can, the Lord will take over for you, and I’ve seen that the past
18 months. I know I’m not in this alone,
and just at the moment I’m sure I can’t handle one more thing, and I just want
my husband home, something comes along and I’m just fine.
My husband is gone a lot. And I
never really know when he’ll be home. Just to give you an idea of what our lives are like, here’s a usual
schedule: He’s gone all day on Sunday, and on the 2nd Sundays, he
only has one 15 minute break between about 7:30 am and 5:00pm to try to eat
lunch. On Tuesday and Wednesday nights
he’s with us for dinner, then he leaves for church and isn’t home until late
into the evening. The running joke is
that he’ll tell me what time he’ll be home and I plan for an hour later. I’m
usually right. There are some Thursdays
he’s gone as well. There’s many times he’s receiving text messages or phone
calls during our dinner time as well to finish setting up schedules, or to tie
up loose ends on the evening’s agenda.
We miss him. We miss him a
lot. It’s hard having to bathe the kids
and put them to bed alone. It’s hard to
sit in the quiet of my house trying to stay awake, so I can see him for a few
more minutes during the day. It’s hard having him gone from family events, and
trying to explain to family who don’t understand. I’ve heard more than once from people that
they don’t understand how a church that is so family driven can justify having
a member gone for so long. I know he’s doing great service for
people. Whenever we are discussing with
my kids where dad is, I never use it as a moment to complain. There is no better example of sacrifice and
service he can give them. Yes, he’s away
for us for many hours a week, but even in being away he’s teaching them to be
the kind of men I want them to be: He’s
giving of himself to help those who are in need. He’s doing it without
complaint.
One of the great blessings that has come from him being gone so much is that our time together is really focused on
our family. Neither of us feels that he
is missing out on the milestones of our children. We don’t feel our relationship has been hurt
because we are apart so often. In fact,
the opposite is true. Our time spent as
a family and as a couple is really quality time. President Uchtdorf has taught that in
families love is spelled T-I-M-E. It’s a
blessing that while we don’t have much time together, the time we do have is
more than enough. There’s nothing I look
forward to more than when we can sit together in Sunday School—even when he
comes in late, and I look at that as a tender mercy. I always hope I’ll get to see him. We don’t even get a chance to talk, but we
get a chance to be together. Our date nights also mean so much more now than
they did before. 
One of the biggest struggles for me
has been to learn how to be a strong support to my husband. He is busy, and there’s a lot that weighs on
him. Some nights he comes home extra
late from meetings, and I can tell it’s been a difficult night. I can see how tired he is, and I wonder how
to comfort him. Other nights he comes
home on a high because he’s learned something new and can’t wait to show it to
me or to tell me. I’ve learned how to
just love him. Love him no matter what
and show him I love him. It may be just a simple hug or a hello. It may be just listening or just watching a
movie with him. No words need even be
exchanged.
I also stand amazed at how the Lord
really helps us to balance. Standing
back and looking at all we have going on (I work full time, we have two kids,
my husband works full time, he’s in school, and he’s a bishop), we are able to
balance everything out fairly easily. There
are often times I doubt we’ll survive a month, a week or a day, but everything
always works out. Thinking about it,
there’s no way we could do it without divine intervention. Even in the busiest of times, we rarely feel
overwhelmed. All that needs to be
completed is completed. My husband has time to be a father and a husband. His school work all gets done. We feel fulfilled as a couple and as a
family. We feel watched over and
protected all the time.
I’ve found myself over the last 18
months counting my blessing and being grateful for so many things I hadn’t
thought about before. This calling has
helped me to do that. Things I took for
granted, I don’t anymore. I’m so
grateful for neighbors I’ve been able to get to know so much better because of
their service to us when I didn’t know I needed it. Dinner time is more special now than before,
and we don’t ever miss a dinnertime together.
Watching my husband learn and grow as a man has been amazing. We’ve learned to really look at good, better,
and best when making choices, and it’s been easier to pick those things that
are best. When the Lord asks something
of us, he will provide a way for it to be completed.
I’ve often had people asking me if
it’s hard to do, and I always tell them no.
I don’t think some of them believe me .It really isn’t hard. It’s the exact opposite. We feel so blessed to be where we are and to
be learning at a pace we never thought possible. The Lord has provided so much for us and
continues to do so. He’s made a way for
us to do all that he needs us to do, and I’m thankful for that.
