"But how can I really change and never look back?"

There are many who struggle with making changes in their lives that "stick." Although this post may be a little longer in length, I invite you to learn how you can create permanent change in your life. If nothing else, I invite you to watch the video attached on a different post entitled "Christlike Attributes."

One of the greatest struggles I've had as a bishop is how to help people make permanent changes in their lives. There are so many who try their very hardest to make changes in their lives. They leave my office determined to implement the things we've talked about. I've had a few who have been able to make the permanent changes they desire; but yet, more often than not, they return back to old habits and get more and more frustrated that they can't seem to kick a habit or make permanent changes in their lives. I've heard the following question posed to me more than once:

"But bishop... how can I really change and never look back?"

As I meet with some of them, I feel bad that I can't seem to get them the help they need to make the changes they so desire.

Elder Shayne M Bowen

This past weekend we had a wonderful opportunity to go to stake conference. It was a great weekend, filled with much to think about. Last stake conference in April, we were challenged by Elder Bowen of the seventy to always go to conference with questions and, through the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, those questions would be answered. The question at the top of my list was the following: what can I do to help members make permanent changes in their lives? The answers I received over the last two days have changed the way I will counsel members from now on. Allow me to elaborate for a few moments on insights the Holy Ghost taught me.

First, I had it all backwards. I have tried to help people through the process of repentance without ever diagnosing a much bigger issue. The Guide to the Scriptures teaches the following:

REPENT, REPENTANCE

A change of mind and heart that brings a fresh attitude toward God, oneself, and life in general. Repentance implies that a person turns away from evil and turns his heart and will to God, submitting to God’s commandments and desires and forsaking sin. True repentance comes from a love for God and a sincere desire to obey his commandments. All accountable persons have sinned and must repent in order to progress toward salvation. Only through the atonement of Jesus Christ can our repentance become effective and accepted by God. 

Each person I've helped so badly wants this "change of mind and heart." They desperately want to "turn away from evil and turn [their] heart and will to God." They get frustrated because they can't quite get their desire to stop to match up with the actual act of stopping and "forsaking sin."

My "ah-ha" moment of stake conference came through the last sentence in the above definition of repentance in that "only through the atonement of Jesus Christ can our repentance become effective and accepted by God." In other words, only through Jesus Christ can our changes become permanent.

The fourth article of faith says the following:

Why doesn't this article faith say the following "We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the gospel are faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins, and the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost"? I've purposely left out 4 key words from the article of faith: First, second, third, and fourth. It doesn't read this way because Heavenly Father is teaching us a process.

Are you ready for my biggest flaw as a bishop... I haven't been good at seeing where a person's faith is in Jesus Christ BEFORE helping them repent. I see that they have desires to repent and immediately pounce on that desire, trying to help them through the repentance process. I try and help them find ways to change their habits without helping them rely upon Jesus Christ and his atonement. Sure, I discuss the importance of the atonement as I meet with individuals, but haven't taught them HOW to use the atonement. The "desire to believe" taught in Alma 32:27 only leads us to faith, not repentance (permanent change). Without faith in Jesus Christ and his atonement, we will never be able to fully repent and make permanent change. Several times in the scriptures, we read the following: "Faith in Jesus Christ unto repentance" or "faith unto repentance" or "perfect in Christ."

The next question you might ask is "how can I develop a greater faith in Jesus Christ?"

3 Nephi 27:20 teaches us the following:

Now this is the commandment: Repent, all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me and be baptized in my name, that ye may be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day.

The words "faith in the Lord Jesus Christ" and "Come unto me" are synonymous. The word "come" denotes ACTION on our part to turn from where we are and go towards Christ. Faith requires action. The greatest depiction I can think of is found in the picture to the left. What is missing from this picture? Those familiar with this picture notice a door knob is missing. We are the ones who allow Christ into our lives; he will not barge in. If we use this picture of a house to depict our lives, a good indication of how strong our faith is in Christ is our location in the house to the door. If we're close to the door, we can hear the knock and will open it up. If we're far from the door, in a different room with the music blaring, focused on worldly affairs (i.e. FaceBook, sports, our image/ego, Pinterest, etc.), we probably won't be able to hear the soft knocks of the Savior wanting to be apart of our lives. No matter how strong our desires are to change, if we don't want to leave the room we're in to let the Savior in, we will never be able to fully repent and have permanent change. In other words, if we don't come unto Him FIRST, we'll never get to the SECOND portion of the process (repentance).

The next question may be "HOW can I leave the room I'm in, tangled in the webs or chains that are holding me back, to let the Savior in?"

The Savior gave us this answer Himself in Matthew 11:28-30. It reads the following:

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and LEARN OF ME; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

The key to turning our lives over to the Savior and coming unto Him (no matter what chains or webs hold us bound) begins by LEARNING OF HIM. To have a desire to open the door, we have to KNOW the person standing outside; not just know ABOUT him.

We come to know Him best through a daily study of the atonement.  The more we know about the atonement, the more the changes we are trying to make in our lives will become permanent. Prophets and apostles have taught us this principle.

President Howard W Hunter taught:

“As we come to understand His mission and the atonement which He wrought, we will desire to live more like Him.”

Elder Neal A Maxwell shared a similar sentiment:

“The more we know of Jesus’ Atonement, the more we will humbly and gladly glorify Him.”

I don't think I've ever heard a more powerful testimony of the Savior than that of Elder Bruce R McConkie. He taught the following about our daily study of the Savior and the atonement:

Elder Bruce R McConkie

“The atonement of Christ is the most basic and fundamental doctrine of the gospel, and it is the least understood of all our revealed truths. Many of us have a superficial knowledge and rely upon the Lord and his goodness to see us through the trials and perils of life. But if we are to have faith like that of Enoch and Elijah, we must believe what they believed, know what they knew, and live as they lived.

“May I invite you to join with me in gaining a sound and sure knowledge of the Atonement.”

I invite you to make it a goal to not just study the scriptures on a daily basis, but to study about the atonement and the Savior. I promise that as you do, you will feel a greater desire to leave the room you're in and run to the door to let the Savior in. When we yoke ourselves to the Savior and let Him in our lives, the changes we so desire to make in our lives will, indeed, become permanent.

I love the Savior! I have come to know Him through my personal study of Him and His atonement. Because of that study, I have a greater desire to become like Him. I am far from perfection, but I feel I'm closer to the Savior today than I was yesterday and hope to be closer to Him tomorrow than I am today. Life is much more than knowing ABOUT the Savior. We must KNOW Him!

The following video is one of my favorite testimonies of the Savior. This is how I want to know Him one day!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLqQ_Smimvc